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This bloke wants his 70 year old wife dead.He asks a hit man how he would do it.'I would shoot her below the left nipple'.Bloke says 'I want her dead not kneecapped'.
Naked woman looks in the mirror and says to her husband,'I look fat and ugly,please pay me a compliment'.He replies,'Your eye sight is spot on'.
Mick says to Paddy,'Will yer close yer curtains next time yer shagging yer wife,all the neighbours was laughing at yers while yers were at it yesterday'.'Well the laughs on them'says Paddy,'Cause i wer'nt in yesterday'.
Old couple in church,during the sermon the wife whispers to hubby,'Iv'e just done a gigantic silent fart, what should i do?'.Hubby replies,'Put a battery in your hearing aid'.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink cause when they wake up in the morning thats as good as there going to feel all day.
Hey trikers I pissed mesell laughing at the Paddy one cause as i was writing it down i hadn't heard it before,had me in fits,sod it i'm gona read it agen...gigs
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