The 'real' story of the Three Bears...


A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....


Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks..

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....





'I HAVEN'T MADE THE PORRIDGE YET!'

Who's been watching the house ?
How do you know what our private life is like ?
Twenty two years I've put up with him ! Dee ( Balooo's Wife )

Dee needs a medal

And so does Magpie HeHeHeHe (it would have to be a bloody big medal or you would lose it down her ????)

When I made a home made smoke bomb Dee was suspicious of the 10 kg's of salt peter.
When I put sparklers on my fancy dress hat they had to be jumbo sparklers.
Dee just come home and found large drums of fertlizer. she thinks I'm building a car bomb. Tried to explain its for our lawn, mum and dads lawn,neighbours lawn..... but there again I could just have a little play ! BaloooooBang