Mick is in desperate need of money,he goes to a playground and kidnaps a kid,Mick writes a ransom note which says 'I've kidnaped your kid,put £10.000 in a bag put it behind the big tree in the playground.Signed Irishman.'.Mick pins the note on the kid and sends him home.The next morning Mick collects the bag from behind the tree and sure enough the £10.000 is in it,also is a note which says,'How could you do this to a fellow Irishman'?.

Paddy goes to B&Q and buys a bath,he gets it home fits it fills it with water but it just keeps draining away.He stormes back to the store and gives the salesman a right good rollicking about the water running away.In his defence the salesman says 'Did you not buy a plug with it'.'You bastard' says Paddy 'You didn't tell me it was an electric one'.

Irelands worst air disaster struck today when a two seater plane crashed into a cemetary.Irish rescue crews have so far recovered 826 bodies.The digging continues.